A Dog’s Diary Vs A Cat’s Diary

January 4, 2010 at 8:35 pm Leave a comment

Taken from the Cat Clicker training Yahoo Group

FROM A DOG’S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am -OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

——————————————————————————–

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY

DAY 752 –
My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction
I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 –
Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost
succeeded, must try this
at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced
myself to
vomit on their favorite chair…
must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 –
Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless body, in attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and
to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not
working according to plan.

DAY 768 –
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the
water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical
called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid. My only
consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 –
There was some sort of gathering
of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and
smell the foul odor of the glass tubes
they call "beer.." More importantly
I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must
learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other
captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other
hand has got to be an informant,
and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is
only a matter of time.

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2009… How Many Dogs Does It Take…

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